The meaning of Love
by Intoxic
Summary: A bunch of one-shots about the true meaning of Love, contains MALEC.
1. To Love is to Sacrifice

Disclamier: All rights to the characters belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Summary: A buch of one-shots about the true meaning of Love

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_**To Love Is To Sacrifice**_

Kissing Magnus in front of the entire Clave was the most bravely thing I've ever done. But I had to do it. Not just for the rest of the world to know, but for him. He doesn't deserve the treatment I was giving him lately. Worst boyfriend ever? Yes that was me. Being all lovey- dovey in privet? Yes that can work. But in public…I stayed away from him as far as I could. So no wonder that he ignored me when he came to make a portal for us to Idris. He ignored my calls too. Can't blame him. But he didn't understand that I loved…ok, thought that I love Jace. But Clary showed me the truth. When she draw that rune I saw Magnus…and I was like…what the hell, how Magnus can be in two places at one time. I was looking at the both of them with confusing written all over my face. Then I realized that I love Magnus. I mean…how could I be so stupid to ever think that I love Jace that way. By the Angel he is my brother…when I look at him I don't have the same warm inside my body like when I look at Magnus. And as much as I hated to admit that in the first place…I love that feeling that he's giving to me. So yeah, that was the majority impulse to kiss him in the Hall of Accords before the battle. The other reason was that I had a feeling that we might not got back from the battle. But I wanted that so badly. I wanted us to survive, so we could built a real relationship, without hiding anymore. So after the battle that we survived we were having a fun, we were dancing, but tomorrow I knew that my parents wanted to "talk". They may act normal now, but I know, that deep down…they won't probably approved. I mean…who ever heard about gay Shadowhunter in a relationship with a Downworlder, a warlock? That didn't happen before.

Now I was waiting, along with Magnus, till they choose the new Consul. I was holding his hand in mine. I didn't care that other underage Shadowhunters were looking at me with disgust. Oh…I wanted to kiss my warlock now…just to make them feel more disgust. Oh…screw them…I'm in love. And so what if I'm in love with another male? It's nothing new in this days. Mundanes don't make such a deal from that, so why the Clave can't get it?

„Alec? You ok?" asked Magnus. I looked at him and smiled. God…he was so beautiful.

„I'm fine. It's just…I want to go home.

„I promise…after that meeting…I'm taking you home" he leaned to my ear and started whispering" and I'm not going to let you out…for a long time.

„I would like that" I said silently as I started blushing. God his voice was so seductive.

„And then we can go on some trip? Would you like that darling?"

„Where?"

„Wherever you want. Name a place and we can go there." he winked at me.

„I can go wherever…as long as it with you" I whispered. He squeezed my hand gently. I smiled at him and then the Gard's door opened.

My mother went out and she pointed at us. We quickly got up and Magnus was about to let go my hand but I tightened my grip and led him into the Gard. When we stepped inside I saw my father, Amatis Herondale, Jia Penhallow, Arthur Blackthrone, and many other adults. My mother took a place next to Jia Penhallow. Then I saw that Mrs. Penhallow wears a grey Consul's robe. They chose her. Magnus and I stood in the middle waiting for someone to speak. Most of them were watching us with a disgust and disrespect. Ok…they could disrespect me…but Magnus didn't do anything wrong.

„Alexander" started Jia Penhallow "your yesterday's actions were…surprising for the Clave. How can you explain yourself?"

„Explain?" I blurted "I believe I explained everything with what I did."

„What you did was wrong" said my father in a cold tone.

„Wrong? How being in love can be wrong?"

„No my dear" Jia was looking at me without any express now "Being in love isn't wrong. But being in love with a Downworlder…is against the Law. And you know that Alexander.

„Let me get this straight…you disagree just because he is a Downworlder? And not because I'm gay?"

„That's the other…problem"

„Alec…" spoke my dad "Why? Why him? Couldn't it be any Shadowhunter? Why a Downworlder?"

„Well…maybe because he actually loves me?"

„There's no future for a warlock and a Shadowhunter. It's against the law!" stated Robert. I was angry at him. I looked over at Magnus. For the whole time he was silent and had a lowered head. "Unless you want to be stripped from your marks!

„NO!" shouted Magnus. "Please! I…I leave Alec. I disappear from his life for good. Just don't strip him from his marks. He didn't deserve that. I won't come back, I won't come near him anymore…hell I move out from New York. Just don't punish him. Please.!"

„Magnus!" I cried out. I don't want him to leave me. Not after everything we've been through.

„Alec…I can't let you sacrifice what makes you...you." he caressed my cheek gently and mouthed 'I love you'. When he turned around to leave I grabbed his wrist firmly. "Alec…"

„No! You won't leave me!" I turned to the Clave "You want to strip me from my marks just because I'm in love with Magnus? By the Angel…you're so hypocrite. Since when being in love is such a crime? Huh? So what if he's a Downworlder and I'm a Shadowhunter. It doesn't matter! Because when you're in love nothing else matters. It's not wrong being in love. All of you in some part of your life were in love…so why can't you let me experience that?"

I made a long pause. All of them was shocked. I smirked. Once I made them shut up.

"So if you want to strip me from my marks…so let it be. I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the man I love…because that's the meaning of love. To love is to sacrifice. So if you want to take them off of me…you can do it. Because I prefer to be a happy mundane with the love of my life, than a Shadowhunter who lies to himself. You know…I prefer to follow my heart and being truthful with myself than live among you!"

After that I wanted to take Magnus and to storm off…away from them. I was shocked that I told them that. Magnus was stood there dumbfounded. I believe he didn't expect this kind of words from me. Well…I didn't expect them either. I turned around to my warlock and started to going to the door. When we were close to them we heard that someone spoke.

„Wait!" said firmly Jia. We did as we were told and we turned around to them. She pointed at us and we came closer to them. "Alexander…what you said…was really brave. Are you truly willing to sacrifice your marks for the warlock? Are you sure of your words?"

„Yes!"

„No! He's delusional. Don't listen to him" interrupted Magnus. I glared him.

„I'm sure of my words. I'm willing to give up being a Shadowhunter for Magnus Bane. I love him…I can't change it. I don't want to change it. You may not approved this…but I'm not going to break things off with him…no matter what." I stated. "Because _to love is to sacrifice."_

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A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

Intoxic


	2. To Love is to Listen

**_To Love is to Listen_**

I knew that something is wrong with him since he stepped into my apartment. He shut the door loudly, that even Chairman jumped and run to the kitchen. I heard him throw his weapon's belt on the floor and kicking his boots at the wall. Then he came to the lounge room and literally throw himself at the couch. I came closer to him and sat on the coffee table.

„Alec?" I could heard him growled something, but I couldn't understand "What?"

„I said leave me alone!"

„What's wrong?" I touched his shoulder but he jerked away.

„Nothing" he blurted

„Talk to me Alec."

„I don't want to. Just leave me alone!" I sighed and crouched in front of him. I knew that something bad happened. I'm going to find out.

„You wish. I'm not going to give up Alec. I'm going to keep bugging you about it, so better tell me willingly. I'm going to find out what happened this way or other."

„Why do you want to know?!"

„Because I care about you! I love you! I can tell that you're pissed and sad, so talk to me."

I look encouragingly at him. He made a deep breath and sat on the couch. I quickly sat next to him and grabbed his hands into mine. I knew that something is bugging him. I wondered what could piss him so much. Was it the Golden Boy? I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jace's fault.

„You won't leave me alone, will you?" I shook my head. "Fine I'll tell you! It's my dad."

„You want me to kick his ass? One word and I'll do it darling." I smiled a little just to cheer him up. He didn't laugh at that.

„It's not that simple. Besides he's my father."

„I could always try." I blinked at him "Ok…so what did Robert do?"

„There was the Clave's meeting yesterday in Idris" he made a short pause and squeezed my hands "And me as an adult…I had to go too…And they were telling some mean things about you…so I stood up for you…"

„Oh honey…you didn't have to do it."

„I had to! They have no right to disrespect you. You didn't do anything wrong Mags." he kissed me sweetly. I didn't have a chance to deeper the kiss because he pulled away "They can say those things about me…but not about you."

„Thank you…that you defended me…my knight in shining armor" I kissed his knuckles, he giggled.

„And then I had a talk with my dad" he sounded so broken. I embraced him and started to stroke his hair. "He said that I'm a disgrace of the Lightwood family. He said that I brought a shame to our family. That I don't deserve to be a Lightwood anymore."

He started to sobbing. My broken little angel. His family is doing this to him, and he didn't do anything wrong. So what if he's in love with other male. I'm so going to stop by the Institute and have a little chat with Robert. I wonder if he can tell me the same disrespectful things face to face.

„He's a jerk Alec. Don't listen to him. You're anything but disgraceful."

„You know…I shouted to his face that at least I'm not a cheater. I told him that maybe I'm not a perfect Shadowhunter, a perfect straight son that he always dreamed about, but at least I didn't sleep with another woman while I had a wife and kids." he was silent for a bit. "He was so pissed."

„Did he hurt you?" I asked in a serious tone. "If he laid a finger on you, he's dead!"

„No…He didn't hurt me…in a physical mean…" I looked into his eyes to find any sign of a lie "Believe me. He didn't hit me or something. He just keep offending me. And I fight back…for the first time in my life. We screamed at each other till mom came in and told us that it's time for the meeting. And after that I went out for a bit…to calm down…and when I came back to the Gard…I heard my mom talking to some lady…that woman was telling her that she's going to be grandma in six months…and she asked when I'm going to get married with some girl and give her some grandchildren."

„Oh…" I didn't know what to say. Was that mean that Alec wants kids? "Um…"

„Don't bother…about the kids thing." he kissed my cheek. "Anyway…mom looked so broken and disappointed at me. I know that she wanted for the future Lightwoods to have blue eyes like we have…"

„Alec…um…if you want a kid…we can find some girl for us…um…" I didn't know how to say that to him.

„I don't know…I'm too young for that kind of decision…but you know what pissed me the most?" I looked at him confused "The Clave…when they ignored me."

„I don't get it, sorry."

„We were…I mean the Clave was talking about how to stop all the attacks from Maureen's clan…and when I came up with the idea of get a help from Raphael they all ignored me! But what hurt the most was that my dad told me that the Clave can't get a help from the downworlders…because they are meaning creatures which deserves to die! And he looked at me so vicious and his gaze was telling me 'especially your warlock'. And the Consul said that getting a help from downworlders is a shame for a Shadowhunter."

„So why did they make this Accords with us?" I asked silently.

„I told them the same! And the Consul said that it was just a 'gesture' of a good will towards you in some kind of thanks for yours involving in a war with Valentine." he took a deep, hard breath. I looked in a concern at him. "They practically told me that I'm the shame of the Clave."

„You're not sweetheart, you're not." I kissed away his tears "They should be ashamed of themselves for what they told you. They had no right… You know what? Next Clave's meeting…I'm coming with you."

„You can't go to Idris Mags."

„Of course I can. I'm the member of their Council. I only took that seat because of you darling. So I could be with you." I brushed his cheek with my thumb "I'm not let you face them alone. I love you Alec."

„I love you too Magnus" We kissed with passion. We pulled away when we felt that we need to catch a breath. "Thank you Magnus…that you didn't give up…and that you listened to me."

„Darling…that's why I'm here for…to listen to you." That was true. You know what they say…_to love is to listen_.

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A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to

Love you all

Intoxic


	3. To Love is to Stand up for

A/N: This one is with dedication for Dark Phoenix Raising and red wolf. You wanted to see Magnus kicking asses of Clave...well let's say that Magnus will tell them few things!

If there any spelling mistakes, I apologize, but with I have a new laptop and not everything works as it should.

Anyway

Enjoy the new one.

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**_To Love is to stand up for_**

The way Alec was treated on every Clave's meeting makes me sick every time. And as much as he tries to acts like it doesn't bother him, I know he's lying. I know him too good. It gets him every time. And it hurts me that he's hurt. I'm sick of seeing him in pain because of his community. That's why I decided to come to the Clave's meeting. Of course I couldn't go with Alec, cause last time I tried that he said:

_"Magnus Bane! You can't go to Idris with me!"_

_"But why not Allie-bear?" I whined_

_"Because I don't want them to offend you! I don't want them to attack you"_

_"But Alex…"_

_"You're not going. End of discussion. I'll be back in two days. I love you"_

So yeah, as much as I want to help my cutie-pie I can't go with him.

But he never said that I can't go to Idris, he just said that I can't go with him.

And that's why I needed some help. And where I get better if not from certain, blonde, arrogant parabatai of my angel?

And today was one of the Clave's meeting. And me, of course, along with Jace came to Idris few hours after Alec. I told blondie to wait for me in Ragnor's home, after he led me into the Alicante.

Inside I went straight to the Gard, knowing that my blue eyed angel is there alone and needs me so badly. Outside there was one Shadowhunter's guardian.

"Who are you?" he asked in a stern voice

"Are you new here?" I said back. He looked at me steady "Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the member of the Council. I'm here on the behalf of the Council to speak with Inquisitor and Consul."

"You may enter Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn" he said after a small spell of compulsion. Bless my magic.

As I entered the Gard I could hear the voice of Consul Penhallow already.

"We need to plan the attack on Maureen's Brown clan as soon as it possible. The last mission wasn't so successful as we thought will be"

"Maybe we should get some help, then?" I heard my beauty voice.

"Alexander" said Penhallow "Shadowhunters are the Children of the Great Raziel. We don't need any help."

"Consul, last time we didn't get any help. Few of us got killed by vampires." Said my guy.

"There's no winning without victims." Said stern the woman

"We wouldn't have to die if we would get some help from other downworlders" Alec was saying

"Alexander. None respected Shadowhunter will get a help from a filthy downworlder!" I heard some male voice I assumed it's Robert. And I was right.

"So you're saying that I'm not respected?" asked Alexander in a small voice. Then was a longer pause, and I wanted to so badly know what was happening now. Then he spoke again "Come on father, say better that this is again about my relationship with a certain downworlder."

"Your relations with the filthy warlock are wrong and sick and disgraceful Alexander"

"Don't call him that!" Alec shouted back, and I decided that it's the right time to come in. So I opened the door wide.

When I stepped inside, all gazes were on me, surprised. Especially Alec's and Robert's. I moved forward to the desk that Consul and Inquisitor Lightwood were sitting. I smiled fake to them and spoke.

"I'm sorry I'm late" I said lightly, feeling looks on my back "I shall come earlier, but I had to take care of few errands in New York"

"Bane" said Robert looking vicious at me. "What on the Raziel's name you're doing here?"

"Well…since my official inviting for this meeting got lost, I decided that I need to come on my own" I answered "Now…"

I looked over Alec and his gaze was mortified.

"What did you say about me earlier?" I put my hands on the desk, looking at Inquisitor and Consul with an anger "A filthy warlock? Well…and how many times this filthy warlock saved your ass?!"

"It doesn't matter" said Robert

"No? Without a help from this" I pointed at myself "filthy warlock you would be six feet underground a long time ago Inquisitor Lightwood. Forgot so soon who saved you from poisoning of the great demon? It was this" I again pointed at myself "filthy Downworlder"

"This isn't the matter…" started Consul

"And even if you think that I'm a filthy downworlder…believe me I heard worse." I said in a steady voice "You have no right to say that Alexander is disgrace or shame. You have no right to disrespect him…"

"Magnus please…" I felt Alec's hand on my arm, as he was trying to take me out, but I stayed in my place

"No Alec. They need to hear this" I looked over the Clave again. "You call him a disgrace? So what should you call yourselves? Huh?"

They looked at me confused as hell. I looked straight at Consul Penhallow

"Are you calling your daughter a disgrace too Jia?" I said in a mocking tone. "Because for me it's the same. Alec is gay and your daughter is a lesbian. Same disgrace, don't you think so?"

"My daughter isn't a…a lesbian!" she almost screamed. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh yes she is. And more. She's in a relationship with a half downworlder." Few of Shadowhunters looked at me like I was crazy. "Well she's dating Blackthorne's daughter, Helen. Am I wrong?"

"My daughter is a Shadowhunter!" said Arthur Blackthorne in an angry voice "She's a proud Shadowhunter, not a half downworlder!"

"No? I recall that her mother was a faerie. So yeah, she is a half like me, a filthy downworlder." I made a long pause, and raised my voice tone "Do you call them a disgrace too?!"

"That is enough!" said Robert loudly

"I'm far from enough Robert." I said back. Alec squeezed my arm stronger, clearly giving me a sign to stop. But I couldn't. I had to say everything to them "You call Alec a shame…but he's more noble than you could even dream to be. He's the most amazing young man. He's the bravest man I ever met. And he deserves what's the best in this world. Why in the Lilith's name you forbid him this? You're so full of yourselves. You think that someone who tries to be happy outside this community must be a disgrace to you."

They were silent, and none of them dared to look me into eye. They knew that I was right.

"And you're more disgraceful than Alexander" I said finally "You're not so saint yourselves. Forget so soon that you were with Valentine? Remember what you did for him? Who you killed for him? I can recall that seventeen years ago YOU were a shame and a disgrace to the Clave"

I could hear all their fast breaths and fast beating of their hearts. They were nervous, because I was right.

"So next time you'd want to say something like that about Alexander…remember what you did in your past!"

After those words I grabbed Alec's hand into mine and led him out of the Gard. As we were walking no one say a word about us, or looked with disguise at us. Once outside Alec stopped us. I looked at him concerned. His eyes were watered. I quickly wrapped my arms around him.

"Sweetheart what happened?" I asked

"What you did there…" he started in a small voice "Thank you for it"

"Baby look at me" he did what I said, and I kissed him sweetly "I had to say that to them. I told you that they have no right to say this means things to you"

"Thank you that you stood up for me Magnus"

"Always darling" I kissed the top of his head "I'm always gonna stand up for you, because I love you"

I love him so much, and _to love is to stand up for._

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A/N: Did you like it?

If you have any suggestions, requests about Your meaning of love, feel free to PM to me or leave your request on my tumblr.

Love you all

Intoxic


	4. To Love is to Trust

**_To Love is to Trust_**

I was lying in a bed with Alexander. We finally got back together, after his little betrayal. I know that it wasn't entirely his fault. Camille manipulated both of us. That bitch, she wanted to get revenge on me for that one time when I dumped her for William…ok…I really never dated Will…I only used him to make her jealous. I mean…she was the one who cheated on first. And when she came back she played my Shadowhunter…jealousy bitch. I know that she envied me…I mean…Alexander and I…what we have…it's simply true love. I never experienced that feeling before. Yes of course I had many lovers before, but none of them was like Alec. I never mourn about break up for a long time…and yet when I dumped Alec…I couldn't get over him. I still loved him…still love him same as in the beginning. And he was the first one who never give up with winning me back. He kept calling me…and hung up whenever I picked up…but still he put so much effort in his attempts. He couldn't get over me too. That's how I know that we're meant to be together. And that's why I decided to give him another chance. But this time we both decided that we need to learn to trust one another and to be honest in everything. And that's why I needed to tell him everything. Because to love is to trust. And I do trust Alexander…with my life.

„Alec?" I said silently.

„Hmm?"

„You're awake?"

„Yeeeeessss" he yawed. He rolled over so now he was facing me. I looked into his eyes, even in a darkness I could see the crystal blue inside. "You ok?"

„I'm fine" I said. I swallowed hard. Ok. Magnus. It's now or never. "Can we talk?"

„Sure." he turned his lamp on and looked in a concern at me. "Everything ok?"

„Yes…I love you, you know."

„I love you too." he gently caressed my cheek "You can tell me anything."

„You know…when we were broken up…I thought about why you did that…why you went to Camille…And when Jace came to me to tell me that you're miserable just as I am…I finally understood it."

„I'm so sorry that I went to her…I never wanted to take away your immortality…I only wanted to get to know you."

„I know. I understood that when Jace came to me. And…She manipulated both of us. She wanted to get revenge for what I've done years ago." he looked at me puzzled. "When I was dating her back in London in XIX century…there was a one dark hair, blue eyed Shadowhunter…Will Herondale. I thought that he was the most beautiful creature in a world…since his father. You need to know that blue eyes and dark hair are my favorite."

„Is that why you're with me…cause I have blue eyes and dark hair?"

„NO! I'm with you for you…Alec you're a brave young man…I'm not going to lie…it's true that your look draw me to you in a first place…but it's not why I fell in love with you. I love you for what you have in here" I tapped at his heart. He smiled a little at me and nodded. "Anyway…So Will was very beautiful…and very broken. He thought that he's cursed, so he didn't let anyone to love him. But that's not the point. The point is that Camille was Shadowhunters informatory you might say. Magister, you probably read about Axel Mortmain, created the automatons to destroy Shadowhunters, and to kidnap Tessa, he wanted her to be his wife…you might say that he created her… So Camille was their informatory. She told Tessa to change into her and to go to Alexei de Quincy's party, he was a head of the London vampire's clan. Camille wanted to take revenge on de Quincy's for killing her lover…a werewolf. I'll spear you details about that uneventful night and get straight to the point. After that night Camille disappear. She went to Russia to her human's lover. I was pissed and I missed her a lot. And when she came back finally I was beyond mad. I kissed William and told her that now I have him and I left her. After that I was staying with Woolsey Scott…I didn't love him…don't worry…but he gave me some satisfaction. And then she came back and demanded to talk to me. She told me that I should know that she will come back one day…she wanted to be again with me…but I told her that she could give me the past…but you're my future Alec. So when she couldn't manipulate me…she went to you. And we both know how that ended up."

„She really was a bitch." he said. "I let her get into my mind. But it's not her who…started it. Remember when I went to Seelie Court with Clary, Simon and Izzy? The Queen put a glamour on me, because I laughed at one Simon's comment. She let me see myself in forty years…old…with wrinkles…she asked me if you would love me still when I would look like that."

„Of course I will! I will always love you, no matter how you will look Alec. It's not the look I love in you…it's your heart." I kissed him gently on lips. He kissed me back. "I will love you forever.

„I will love you too. Always and forever."

„Alec…I told you that I understand finally why you went to her…and you were right. I should tell you more about myself."

„Magnus it's alright. If you don't want to you don't have to. I understand…"

„I want to tell you. I trust you." I grabbed his hand into mine and squeezed it gently. "I hope that you won't hate me after everything you'll hear."

„Never. I could never hate you."

„Good." I took a deep breath and started. "I'm six hundred years old. Not 800. I was born in Batavia. My mother…she hung herself when she found out who I am. My father…my stepfather…tried to drown me…I burned him in a defense. I was raised by the Silent Brothers in Madrid. They gave me my name."

„Do you remember your real name? The one that your mother gave you?" he interrupted.

„No…it was too long… The Silent Brothers taught me everything about the Downworld and about the downworlders. They found me a teacher…a warlock who taught me magic…When I was nineteen and when I stopped growing up…or stopped change…I left them. Then I started work for other creatures and mundanes. I started to lie about my age…cause no one wanted to employ a warlock who was still learning. After that I keep lying about my age…There are only three…well now two people who knows my real age. It's you and Cate. Anyway…I met Ragnor and we started to be friends...not lovers…Ragnor was into woman. And when I was like hundred and fifty…we saved Catarina from the burning. You know…that in the middle age Churches burned witches. So after that we became the "trio". Um…Sometimes I had to…do awful things…we were emploing to killing other creatures…including Shadowhunters…Like in the times of the Circle." I looked at him unsure. He was silent for a while. I knew that he has questions for me. "Alec…if you want to know something…just ask me."

„Who…who is your father? Which demon?" my Shadowhunter whispered. I knew that I need to tell him. I swallowed hard before I spoke.

„Lucifer." I waited for him to jumped out of the bed, or to look at me with disgust. But he didn't do any of this things. "Anything else?"

„Ok…I don't mind that…just for you known." he made a long pause "Was it true? What she told me? About that spell?"

„Camille?" he only nodded "There is a spell which can take away my immortality…but I didn't know that she knows about it."

„She told me that you told her once, in a bed."

„I didn't. Do you imagine me telling someone a spell which can take away something what makes me powerful?" he shook his head. "But it's true. There is a spell. I found it in the Book of White…that's why I wanted it so badly. Alec…in whole my life I experienced almost everything…but I never had a chance to grow old with the love of my life…and when I finally found you…I really think about it."

„I…I…" he kissed my knuckles. "I could never demand that from you. I just want…want to have, as much as I can, life with you…until I die. So…if you would ever go with it…it'll be your…only yours decision. Not mine. "

„I know. That's why I love you." Alec yawed. I kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep darling. We have plenty time to talk tomorrow or day after that."

„Magnus?" he said after a long pause. "Thank you. That you trusted me with your secrets. It means everything to me."

I kissed his hand and placed it over my heart. I smiled at him and closed my eyes. I felt so relieved when I told him my secrets. I was really glad that he didn't hate me after all. I guess it's true what they say…_to love is to trust._

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A/N: Did you like this?

Thank you all for reviews/follows/favorites. They meant a lot to me.

With a lots of love

Intoxic


	5. To Love is to Take a Risk

A/N: This one is with dedication for ntlpurpolia. I hope you'll like it.

Disclamier: All rights belongs to Cassie Clare

Magister-is a fictional Character made up by myself, along with the fictional country for warlocks-Akharem.

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**_To Love is to Take a Risk_**

Magnus Bane was an old warlock, one of the oldest in this world. And that was something. He knew what are his goals for live. He wanted to became a Magister of the all warlocks. That was always his dream. And the old Magister knew that, so he prepared Magnus to take his place after his death. But with the great power comes responsibilities, that's what he always said to Magnus. And Magnus knew them. He knew that from the day he'll be a Magister he had to watch over others warlocks, and hold a grip on other unnatural creatures. That was his future job. But he wanted it. He knew that he couldn't have a family, a lover…this was something forbidden in this business. But he was ok with this. He had broken heart too many times. He could be alone as long as he has enormous power. He didn't need anyone but his best friends, who were warlocks too. But everything changed in one day.

Alexander Lightwood was an eighteen year old Shadowhunter, one of the best from his generation. He lived in New York with his family, he had few friends in the shadow world. His best friend was his parabatai, and he loved him so much. Not only in the brotherly way. But he kept that as a secret, because he couldn't revealed the truth to his community. He couldn't admit what was wrong with him…at least he thought it's wrong. So he kept that to himself and forbid his sister to tell anyone. Alexander was always a protector. He always watched his siblings backs. But he was ok with this, as long as they're save. He even was ok with the fact that his parabatai had a new girlfriend, because he was happy. And as much as Alec wanted Jace to be happy with him, he knew that the blonde guy would never look at him the way he look at the red head. But he was happy as long as Jace was happy. Alexander knew what his parents expected from him, and he obliged that for his whole life. One day he would be a charger in the Institute in New York. And that was what he wanted. He wanted to make proud his parents and his community. But everything changed in one day.

The day that Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and Alexander Lightwood, the Shadowhunter, met was the day that their worlds turned upside down.

Since they looked into each other's eyes for the first time, their worlds whirled.

Since that day everything changed.

For Magnus it was like a hit of the lightening. No more, he wanted to be alone. No. He wanted to be with the Shadowhunter. He wanted to claim him for himself. He wanted to be his one and only. The warlock stopped care about what others could think about him. He wanted Alec to think about as his too. He wanted to be with him, no matter what.

For Alexander it was like a shooting star, like his dream finally came truth. He didn't think about himself anymore as a disgrace, shame, wrong…no…With Magnus Bane he thought about himself as an good boy, a worth boy. Because that was what the warlock told him every day.

Of course they couldn't meet in public, or tell about their relationship to the world. No matter how much it hurt them both. But both of them wanted that so badly. They wanted to shout aloud about their love. They wanted to tell everyone that they're together. They wanted to show the world how happy they were.

But they couldn't.

Both of them were in different communities. Both of them were expected to follow the rules. Both of them were expected to never break the rules.

But sometimes they didn't care.

So they meet in privet, always hiding from everyone. But they were ok with this. They could live like that as long as both of them heard from another those three magical words:

"I love you"

But the warlock knew that they can't live like that forever. No, when they both had their tasks to do. So Magnus decided to take a risk with a Shadowhunter.

One night, when they were laying in Magnus' bed wrapped to each other, the warlock kissed furiously his young lover. The kiss was full of longing, love, desire, passion…he knew that this may be one of the last kisses with this beautiful man.

"I love you Alexander"

"I love you too Magnus" he whispers back.

"I have to leave New York" the warlock said finally. Shadowhunter's face dropped down, and in his eyes built tears. He didn't want his lover to leave him, not now, not ever "The Magister wants me to come with him to the France. He wants me to live there from now on"

"But…but…but you can't leave me. I love you!" said scared Shadowhunter. The warlock wrapped his arms around young boy so tightly, as he was afraid that someone would take him away

"I love you too my darling. And I don't want to leave you, ever. I want to be with you forever."

"Then don't go"

"I can't not go" said silently warlock "This is something what I'm expected to do"

"So what now?" asked in a small voice the Shadowhunter

"Do you love me?" asked in a sudden Magnus

"Of course I love you. I love you with all my heart!" answered confident Shadowhunter

"Then run away with me"

The younger boy looked at his older lover shocked and confused. He wanted that, but he was afraid what his family would think about this. He was afraid of the Clave.

"Run away?" he asked in a disbelief

"Darling you know that neither the Clave neither the Convent will ever let us be together. The minute they'll find out about us, they'll separate us forever. They'll take you to Idirs and me to Akharem. You know that we won't see each other ever again. The minute I'd like to come to Idirs the Shadowhunters will kill me. The minute you'd like to even find Akharem you'll die too." He made a long pause "I'm willing to give up my job, my power…everything. I'm willing to risk everything, even my own life for you"

He gave his Shadowhunter few days to consider his proposition. He wanted that so badly. He wanted Alec to be his one and only, true love. The one who would be willing to share a life with him forever, who would be his other half till his heart would stop beating. And the warlock was willing to take a risk for him. He was willing to risk running away for the end of his life, as long as he would have his Shadowhunter by his side. He was willing to hide forever, risking to not be caught, as long as his Shadowhunter was with him every minute of his life. He was willing to risk his life to be with the blue eyed Shadowhunter.

And Magnus was beyond shocked and happy when in the middle of one night, the said Shadowhunter turned up on his step with a simply dark bag, telling him.

"I love you Magnus. And I would love you forever. I'm willing to take that risk too. For you"

In that minute Magnus Bane knew that Alexander Lightwood is his one and only, because he took a risk for him. He risked his whole life, his future, just for the warlock. And the warlock did the same. He risked his life, his future just for the Shadowhunter and their love. Because they both knew that _to love is to take a risk._

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A/N: Did you like it?

Thank you for all reviews/follows/favorites.

I love you all

With a lot of love for you my sweet peas

Intoxic


	6. To love is to Forgive

A/N: I wrote this two days ago, but I've been busy with my collage and symposium, so...I'm posting it tonight.

This one is with the dedication for glittery girl. You gave me the idea for this one :)

Enjoy the new one

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_**To Love is to Forgive**_

When I was lying in my bed in the night, all alone I was thinking about my relationship with Magnus. What we've been through for the past year…most couples don't experience that in many years. But we survived, we stayed together…So why I had this weird feeling that something is not right? And my sense didn't let me down.

It was one night when Magnus came to the Institute, crying hysterically. I took him to my bedroom and sat him gently on the edge of my bed. I crouched in front of him, grabbed his hands in mine and waited for him to speak. I smelled an alcohol from him, so he was drinking. I wondered what happened. Magnus usually drank when he was sad or at the party. But I was sure that he didn't throw a party today. He said that he's meeting with some friend, so I stayed in the Institute for the night. I looked into his eyes full of the water, tears were running down his cheeks. I tried to wipe all them away, but he couldn't stop crying.

„Magnus? What happened?" I asked softly.

„I love you Alec."

„I love you too honey." I kissed his knuckles "Tell me what's going on."

„Please…tell me you won't hate me."

„Magnus I could never hate you. I love you so much that sometimes I can't think straight."

„Isleptwithanotherman" he blurted silently.

„What? I didn't get it."

„I slept with another man!"

I dropped his hands and move away from him. I was looking at him with full opened eyes. I felt that tears were coming to them. How he could do that to me? Wasn't I enough for him? Doesn't he love me? My stomach was flipping. I wanted to throw up right now. I covered my mouth with one hand just to stop myself from doing it. I believe that my heart broke in million pieces. The men that I love with all my heart had sex with someone else. He cheated on me…Now I had in my mind all things that my dad told me. _"He's only using you Alexander. And when he gets what he wants from you, he'll find another."_ So it was true, Magnus only used me. He wanted to get me to his bed, and when I finally let him do it, he found someone else. I felt anger growing inside of me. I wanted to grab my blade and cut his dick for what he done to me. And yet I still love him, I couldn't harm him. But I needed to be alone.

„Get out!"

„Alec please…let me explain…"

„I said GET OUT!"

„Alec…"

„GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I screamed so loudly that I bet I woke up everyone. And I wasn't wrong, soon Jace was in my room along with Isabelle.

„What the hell is going on here?" asked my sister.

„Magnus is leaving"

„Alec please…let's talk…"he cried

„GET OUT!" I was panting from the anger and pain.

„You heard my brother warlock" said Jace in a vicious tone and pushed Magnus out from my bedroom.

I shut the door behind them. Izzy stayed in the room with me. I slid down to the floor and started to cry. I didn't understand how he could do that to me. I gave him everything what I could. He was my first, my first in everything. And he screwed that up. He only played me. And I thought that he is the love of my life, hell I thought that I'm not trivial to him. That he's returning the same feelings I have to him. He told me that I'm his one and only. Then why he did that?

„Alec?" started my sister "What happened?"

„He…I…don't…"I couldn't even tell those words out loud. She embraced me and I started sobbing in her shirt.

„Hey it's going to be alright. You will work things out with Magnus" I tensed a little. "Everything will be ok."

„No. It won't be ok."

„It will be. Believe me Alec. You love each other, you'll work things…"

„HE CHEATED ON ME!" I yelled. _How we can work this out? There's no way_. I thought.

„He did what?!" said Jace walking into my room "Oh…he's so dead. I'm going to kill him. I'll kill that son of a bitch. "

„Jace…" I started. "Don't…"

„He hurt you Alec. And no one has a right to hurt my brother. Friend or not. He'll pay for this. Pay dearly."

I broke into tears again. I untangled myself from Izzy and went to my bed. I curled up on it and grabbed firmly one of my pillows, that smelled like Magnus. He slept on it two nights before. I inhaled his smell and closed my eyes. In my mind I saw us in our first night together, when we were making love. He told me then that I was good for him. So why he had to sleep with another? I felt some movement in my bed. I opened my eyes and saw that Izzy climbed next to me. She grabbed my hands into hers and looked at me. Just like when we were little kids and used to sleep in one bed, when we were scared. We were silent for a long time. I couldn't sleep and so she didn't.

„Don't listen to Jace…we won't hurt Magnus. Unless you want us to?"

„No…I love him Izzy…"

„I know you do. And I know he loves you too."

„Then why did he do that to me? Wasn't I enough for him? Why he was looking for someone else?"

„I don't know" she whispered. "Maybe you should talk with him. Either break up with him or work this out."

„So…I should what? Forget about it and forgive him?"

„He told you about that right? He didn't lie" I slowly nodded. "So if he had a courage to tell you that he done that…at least you can do is to hear him out. I can't tell you what you should do. But whatever you'll decide I'm always at your side. But remember…to love is to forgive."

„When did you become such an expert in love?"

„Mom told me that, after she found out that dad cheated her on. She loved him, so she forgave him. Not just because she was pregnant with Max, but because she loved dad."

After she left my room I quickly dressed myself and went out. I was walking down the streets of New York to the familiar loft in Brooklyn. During my walk I consider whether should I forgive Magnus or not. I mean I love him…but can thing like that be forgiven? I was debating myself over that when I found myself in front of the building. Ok Alec…you need to face him. I stepped inside and let myself in. I walked straight to the bedroom through the dark loft. I opened the door and saw him curled up in our…in his bed but on my side. He was wearing my black shirt and he was clinging my photo to his chest. And then I heard that he's crying. I gently closed the door but didn't came closer to him.

„Alec? Is that you?"

He got up from the bed and came closer to me. I saw, in the dim light, that his whole make up was smeared all over his face. His hair was in such mess. He looked terrible. He stopped in front of me with his head lowered.

„Why?" I asked in a cold voice

„I'm so sorry…I didn't know what was going on with me…I was at the meeting with Tessa, than we went to the club…I got few drinks…then…then she left…and I was still drinking and dancing" he wiped away his tears, ruining his make up even more. "I was so drunk…and then I…I don't even know when I was on top of that guy…I swear…I didn't know what was going on with me…and after a while…he sat me down at some bed…I believe he took me to his place…and he told me that I was good…that he never thought that warlocks can be so good at bed…than I sobered up a little and saw that I'm naked in bed with some random guy…"

„He used you?" I asked silently. Wanting for that to not be truth.

„No…I…went willingly…After I sobered up…I remembered all of it…I practically offered him sex…I'm so sorry Alexander…I never meant to do it. But I swear on the Angel that it meant nothing to me."

„How can it mean nothing to you? You slept with another man!"

„I'm sorry…" he got down on his knees crying desperately . "Believe me it meant nothing to me…Alec…I don't want to lose you…I love you with all my heart…Please…Please don't leave me…I can't live without you…You are my everything…I love you…"

I looked down at him. He was looking so helplessly. My heart melted. He said that it meant nothing to him. And I love him too much to let him go. Maybe I can forgive him. At least I can try. I sat down on the floor next to him and lifted his chin. He looked at me with eyes full of tears. I saw an apology in his eyes. He was truthful. And I had to admit that he acted really brave by telling me that…he could simply keep that for himself and still be all happy with me. But he got the courage to tell that he made a mistake. And people make mistakes. So maybe there is a chance for us to work this out.

„I love you Alexander…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I know I hurt you…And I shouldn't demand from you to stay with me" he was so broken. I wanted to grab him in my arms and kiss away all the pain and sadness. "But I can't live without you…I love you too much…I swear that I won't do it again…Believe me. I would kill myself first than do such a horrible thing to you again…I love you darling, just you."

„I love you too Magnus" I said silently and gently kiss him in his lips. It was a quick kiss full of tears and love. When we pulled away I grabbed his hands into mine.

„This that mean that I'm forgiven?" he asked in unsure tone. I nodded and put one of my hand over his heart.

„Yes…" and then I understood perfectly words that Izzy had told me. _To love is to forgive._

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A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to

With a lots of love

Intoxic


	7. To Love is to Stay

_**To Love is to Stay**_

_no matter what_

The life of Alec Lightwood changed so fast.

Few years ago he was just a Shadowhunter following the rules of his community. And as much as he tried to be happy then, he simply couldn't. His life was then grey and dull.

But everything changed when a very glittery warlock came to his shadow life. Since that day Alec's life became bright, colorful and glittery. But he wouldn't change that to nothing else. He quickly fell in love with the said warlock. He loved him so much. He changed his whole life for him, and he was happy...at least for few years.

Two years ago, when Alec and Magnus were in a relationship for three years, one year after marriage, their life flipped over 180 degrees. And no, it's not because Magnus wanted to have a kid, no. But because of one demon attack.

The Shadowhunter was scared to death, when his beloved collapsed to the ground after he got hurt from a greater demon. Alec wasn't even sure what was that demon. He couldn't recognize it. After the attack Alec was in some kind of depression. And no. Not because Magnus died, no. Magnus lived, but he was poisoned and in coma. When he woke up three weeks later, Alec was beyond happy. He thought that from now on everything will be good again. He thought that their lives will get back to this happiness from before. Oh, how wrong he was.

Two months after Magnus' wake up, something changed. At first it was a slight change, almost unnoticeable. So Alexander let it slip. But the time passed and the change was growing. Finally Alec started to notice it more.

"Will what are you doing here?" asked one night Magnus after Alec came back from his hunt. At first the shadowhunter didn't get it. But the more he talked with his warlock, the more he was shocked and afraid, of what's going on "You came to me again with demon's skin? I told you that it's not that demon already"

"Magnus what…" said clearly confused Alexander

"William you need to talk again with the Old Molly. Give her more rings, so we could finally find that blue skinned demon who cursed you"

Alexander stared blankly at his warlock, who called him William. He was scared, of what was happening to his lover. So the minute the warlock left to their bedroom, Alec called the only person who could help him.

When the female warlock came to their apartment, check up on her best friend, she was beyond shocked. Her friend did recognize her, but he repeatedly called his husband "William". When she examined Magnus Bane, she was terrified with the result. His mind was poisoned and there was nothing anyone could do with it.

And since that day Alexander's life changed dramatically.

It's been two years since the day that Magnus called him for the first time William. But now was worse. Because Alexander could live being called one different name, but not being a called numerous names from his husband's past.

He could never be sure who he has to play each day. William? Axel? Edmund? Woolsey? Imasu? Alfie? Alexander couldn't be sure.

Magnus had mental problems, he simply thought that he's living in his past. But Alec loves his warlock, so he plays along, even if it hurts him so badly.

His family had told him multiple times to leave Magnus, but Alec couldn't. He couldn't abandon him. Not when he loves him to death. After all he vowed him 'till death do us apart' and that means something. Finally his family gave up, and just looked at him with a pity. As much as Alec understood their position, they didn't want him to be in pain, he simply couldn't do what they asked. He couldn't leave his beloved. He knew that if the situation was different and Alec would be sick, Magnus wouldn't ever leave him. And that was a part reason that Alec stayed with Magnus. No matter how much it hurt him.

"Oh Axel" said Magnus one night during their dinner. Immediately their house changed to an apartment from Magnus' past, from times when he lived in Paris. "How's the Queen"

"My dear Magnus" played along the shadowhunter "She's very well. We still plan her escape from this madness, right?"

"Oh yes" he said back, smiling widely to Alec "I have all prepared already. Everything will go the way we want my darling."

So yeah…Alec was used now to getting information about his lover past, since he had to play a part of it.

But what hurts the most was when Magnus kissed him and after kiss called him different name.

And the trigger for his pain was in one night.

They were watching TV and Magnus even few times called him Alexander, so the shadowhunter was happy that day. They started to kiss, and soon simple, sweet kisses turned to a hot make out session. Alec missed his warlock, so he longing for every touch, every kiss he could get today. And he wanted more, and he could see and feel that his warlock wanted that too. Soon they got to the bedroom, starting to take their clothes off. Alec gently laid his warlock on their bed and hovered him. He started to kiss his neck, and touch his body, then it happened.

"Oh William…" moaned warlock.

Alexander stopped his movements, he placed his hands of the both sides of Magnus' body and looked angry at the men beneath him. He knew that it wasn't on purpose but it still hurt, that the men you love calls you his past lover's name, or almost lover during your love making. Alec couldn't help himself and moved away from warlock with a pain written all over his face. He sat on the edge of the bed and hid his face in his hands.

"William what happened?" asked warlock sitting next to Alec. And that was it.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Will…"

"I AM NOT WILL!" he screamed. Magnus looked at him confused and scared, because he didn't know what was happening. "I'm sorry I yelled"

Shadowhunter grabbed warlock's hand in his and laced their fingers.

"I know it's not your fault. I know you're not doing that on purpose. Believe me I know." He made a long pause and took a huge breath "But it's so fucking painful to me…that you don't know who I am, for the most of the time."

The warlock stayed silent and only looked at the men in front of him. He found him very beautiful and amazing.

"I wish you could call me by my own name…I'm sick of playing your old lovers. It's hard for me. Every day you call me by their names…you have no idea how much it hurts me"

"I'm sorry…" he didn't know what name he should say.

"Alexander…call me Alexander" said the young man

"I'm sorry Alexander" said the older one.

"I know you do. And I know that even if you don't know who I am, here" he touched the chest of his husband, in the place where the heart was beating "here I know you love me…not them, but me."

"I…" the warlock indeed felt something strong for the man next to him.

"I wish you could take my hand, look me in the eyes like you did before with this passion and say one more time 'I love you' just the way you did on our wedding" warlock's eyes were wide open. He was married to this mysterious, beautiful man. How could he not remember it? "I wish you could make love to me and scream my name during an ecstasy, the way you did before. I wish you could simply hold me, stroke my hair and whisper to me 'you're my only one Alexander, our love is eternal', like you did before. I wish you could remember our love"

Alexander knew that Magnus won't remember in the morning those words. He knew that in the morning they would go back to their routine of calling him different names and playing along. The shadowhunter knew that. He was aware of it. And as much as his mind was telling him, screaming at him to leave the warlock, he simply couldn't. Not when in the night, during warlock's sleep, he heard this four words, that meant the world for him

"I love you Alexander"

"I love you too Magnus" he whispers back, and kisses the top of his head.

Alexander Lightwood simply couldn't leave his warlock. Because he knew that deep down the said warlock loved his shadowhunter, even if he doesn't remember it.

_So he stayed with him through the years, because to love is to stay, no matter what. _

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A/N: Thank you for your all reviews.

I know it was a bit sad...ok...a lot sad...but I love this the most from all I posted so far.

Anyway...

Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

With a lots of love

Intoxic


	8. To Love is to Be there for

_**To Love is to Be there for**_

Since the first seconds that I woke up I knew, that something is wrong. I looked over at the other side of the bed and saw that it's empty and cold. So Alec must be up. I looked at my e-calendar and saw the date. It was this day…the day that I never wanted to experience. The first anniversary of Max's death. I knew that it will be very painful day. I know that Alec will be miserable…I wish I could do something for him…but I simply don't know what I could?

I quickly got up and went to our lounge room. I saw him curled up in the couch with a photo of his little brother. I heard him crying. I came closer to him and sat on the floor next to the couch. I know him too good. I know that he doesn't need any words like 'everything is going to be ok' or something like that. Instead I told him other.

„I'm here…if you want to talk…I'm here."

I was listening to his slight breath and his silent cries. I couldn't do anything to help. And I wanted so badly to help him, just to do something to make his pain little less.

„Can…can we go there?" he whispered.

I immediately understood what he meant. I only nodded and got up. I give him my hand and pulled him from the couch. I snapped my fingers and we both were dressed. We left our home and walk to the New York Cemetery. I knew that there is a gate to the Silent City. We were walking in a silence, but not the awkward one, it was more like the calming one. I hold Alec's hand for a whole way. I just needed him to know that I'm here. When we were at the cemetery we waited for the Silent Brother to let us in.

„_Alexander Lightwood, Magnus Bane, what are you doing here?" _asked brother Enoch. I looked over at Alec and saw that he's not able to speak. Instead I was the one who need to say something.

„Brother Enoch…We want to enter to the Silent City." I said. "Please…He needs to...it's the anniversary of his brother's death. Please Brother Enoch."

„_He is the Shadowhunter, he can enter the Silent City…as for you Magnus Bane…for the all help you were giving shadowhunters…you may enter too." _

We silently followed Brother Enoch as he agreed for our entrance. I hated being here. It brought so many memories…about every shadowhunter I knew, like Will, and about my friend Ragnor. As the warlock who worked for so many years for Shadowhunters, the Silent Brothers buried him in the Silent City, as to gratitude for his help. Sometimes I missed him…I mean he was my truly friend…he stayed with me even in my craziest times. I felt that Alec started to shiver. I put my arm around him and draw him closer to me, to warm him up with my body heat. Few minutes later we were standing in front of the Lightwoods tomb. Brother Enoch left us alone. I sat in front of it in Indian style and pull Alec down at my legs. I put my arms around him, chin rested on his shoulder. He intertwined our hands and stared into the tomb. I knew that he needed that.

„Hey Max" he said slightly "I…I just wanted to see you…Ma…Magnus is here with me. You know…he doesn't look so ridiculous today…not like in the day you saw him for the first time."

„I never look ridiculous darling" I said playfully.

„Yeah you do. Even Max noticed that, when you came to make a portal to Idris…he said that you look like a character from his manga comics." he made a long pause "You know Mags…he was amazed by your look in that day. He would like you…"

„I bet I would like him too" I tighten my embrace when I felt something wet on my arm. Alec was crying. "Hey…maybe you can tell me how he was?"

„You'd like to hear?" I nodded "Ok…well…Max loved manga…I never understood why…but he loved it…He loved Jace…he admired him…He wanted to be like him…"

„I guess it's the Lightwoods boys thing, huh? Glorifying Jace Herondale?" I said with laugh. Alec laughed at that too and elbowed me. "No need to be vile to me darling."

„You know I'm over Jace. Besides I never glorified him" I looked significantly at him "Ok…maybe I did. Anyway…You know…Max was just as Hodge…always with some book. He was a smart boy…You know…he always asked me to read him when he was little…not Jace or Izz, but me. I never knew why?"

„Maybe because you have such a beautiful voice?"

„Be serious Mags…Oh! He loved cats, he was the only one that Church didn't bite. I bet he would love Chairman Meow. He would probably cuddle him every time he would visit us."

„Oh really? Then Chairman would love him too. You know that our cat loves everyone who pay some attention to him." he laughed. I haven't hear his pure laugh in a long time.

„Did I ever tell you that when mom told that she's pregnant I wanted a little brother. I literally told her that if it's not a boy that I would be mad at her. I so wanted to have a little brother. And Izzy wanted to have a sister. And we made a bet, if I would win, she promised to stop dress me up." my eyes were wide open now from amusing. I imagined little Alec in a girl's dress. "And if she would win I promised to teach her how to use a bow. And when mom gave a birth to Max…I was the one who picked his name. I chose Max not just because that was mom's brother name but…because I read some book about warriors."

„You made a good choice than."

„And…you know, when Jace came to live with us…I stopped paying so much attention to Max…I was so happy that I found a best friend, a boy who is not so younger than me. A boy who I could play with, fight and talk about everything. I guess at first he was sad that I stopped paying attention to him…and" he made a long pause "I regret that we didn't spend so much time together…I miss him. I miss him a lot."

„I know honey…I know." I assured him.

„Did I mention to you, that he was the one who alert us at first?" I shook my head "That night in Alicante…he came to me and Izzy and told us that he saw someone climbing on the tower. Of course we didn't believe him then…We thought that he imagined that…And I left him with this sicko…It's my fault…only mine."

„It's not your fault Alec. You couldn't know that Seb…I mean Jonathon was Valentine's son. You couldn't know that he wanted to help his father…You couldn't know that. It's not your fault." I kissed his shoulder blade to make my statement. It wasn't Alec's fault not in one bit.

„I miss him Magnus…Do you think I'll see him one day? After I'll die?"

„I believe" I wiped my tears away "that one day we all see him again."

After my words we just sat there in a silence. I occasionally wiped away Alec's tears or tightened my embrace when I felt that he's sobbing. When it was almost a night I knew that we needed to head off from here. I could sense that Brother Enoch came to let us out. After Alec said goodbye to Max, we followed the Silent Brother. Once we were outside the Silent City we went to our home, holding hands for the whole time.

„Mags?" My beauty said to me in front of our home "Thank you…that you went with me."

„Always darling…I'm always here for you."

I kissed him gently and slowly. I meant my words. I'm always going to be there for him. Because _to love is to be there for._

* * *

A/N: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS! LOVE YOU ALL

Did you like it?

Review if you feel like too

And if you have any suggestions about next meaning of love, feel free to leave it with your review, or PM me, or in my tumblr

With a lots of love for you my sweat peas

Intoxic


	9. To Love is to Protect

_**To Love is to Protect**_

We were about to go out when Magnus got a fire message from Catarina. There was a warlock's convent that Magnus had to attended. Our plans were ruined, again. Usually it's me who's called up. I saw that he's anxious about it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it in reassurance.

„Everything ok Magnus?"

„Yeah…it's just…I don't like that meetings. "

„Why?"

„I hate the people there." he looked at his watch and growled. "I have to go. Don't wait up. I love you."

„ I love you too. Be careful there."

When I was alone in our apartment I tried to calm myself. I could sense that he's hiding something from me. I know him too well. But he could trust me with everything. Why he didn't tell what was going on. I need to find out as soon as he'll be back. In the next day I woke up alone. I touched Magnus' side of the bed, it was cold, so he didn't come home last night. It got me little worried. I check up the time. It was almost eight o'clock. Something was wrong. I found my phone and dialed the familiar number. After three rings he finally picked up.

„Magnus where are you? You didn't come home" I heard a heavy breaths in my phone and some sobbing I guess "Magnus?"

„C…come…come for me. Please…" he cried. "Please Alec…"

„Where are you?" I said as I was putting some pants on. When he told me the place I grabbed some shirt and run out of home.

I was running really fast to him. I knew that something bad happened. I found him curled up into a corner in some dirty alley. He had knees up to his chest. Head lowered. I rushed over to him. I crouched in front of him and gently touched his knee. He almost jumped out of his skin when I did that. He looked in a fear at me.

„Alec…"

He broke in the tears. I took him in an embrace. When he finally calmed down I gently lifted his head. What I saw was terrifying to me. My warlock had bruises all over his face, a black eye and smeared make up. I gently touched his bruises and he hissed in a pain. Whoever did that to my warlock…is going to pay for this.

„Mags…what happened?" I said slowly, as I stroked his messy hair.

„They…they told me…that I shouldn't be…be with you…"

„Who are they?"

„The other warlocks." he swallowed "They told me…that you're using me…that the Clave is using me…They said…that since I'm with a shadowhunter…I can be their informatory…that I can take them to kill all of you."

„I'm not using you Magnus. I love you."

„I told them that they can fuck off…and to stay away from me and you." he made a long pause. I kissed his hair. "And after I went out…the three of them followed me…"

„Magnus…what they have done to you?"

„They attacked me…with their magic…and they beat me up…and they tried to…tried to take advantage of me." My eyes were wide open. Those fuckers wanted to use my warlock. My blood was boiling inside of me. "I killed them…I'm sorry…"

„What are you sorry about? They did that to you." I stated.

„But I killed them! When the others find out…they will come for me."

„Don't worry honey…I won't let anyone hurt you again."

I kissed him gently. Our lips move in a sync. We were perfect together. I didn't understand why everyone else had a problem with that. First the Clave…now the warlocks. Couldn't they just leave us in a peace. We weren't doing anything wrong. We just love each other. Why is that wrong to them. When we finally pulled away I lifted him. I was holding him in my arms as we were walking home. I know that he glamoured us, because he couldn't stop crying. And he never let anyone to see him crying, except for me.

When we finally were at our home I sat him down at our bed. I took off his bloody clothes and put on him some pajama pants. Then I went to the bathroom for some towel to clean him up. After I stepped out I found him again with his knees up to his chest. Arms around his knees. I started to clean up his hands, they were bruised. Gentlest as I could I cleaned up his face. I slowly removed all the blood and dirt he had on it. He was hissing in a pain. When his face was finally clean I saw that its worse than I thought. His lip was broken, on his cheek were some scratches, his black eye looked worse now.

„Sweetheart" I started "Take my strength to heal yourself."

He nodded and grabbed my hand. Soon I felt familiar warm. We were sharing our strength multiple times. It wasn't so ticklish as in the first time. When I saw that he's healed I tucked him in covers and laid next to him. I took him in my arms, his head rested on my chest. I was listening to his fast heart beats. He curled up to me, as he would want to hide from someone.

„They threatened to kill you…" he whispered. "They wanted to kill you."

„Shhh…don't think about it sweetie." I tried to calm him down.

„I couldn't let them hurt you. I couldn't" he started to cry again. I draw him closer to myself. "What if they come for me? Or the Clave…Oh god…when they'll find out…they're going to…they're going to punish me…and the Convent will kill me…I'm scared Alec…"

„Shhh…don't worry…I won't let anyone hurt you…I'll protect you from anyone. I won't let anyone take you away from me. No one will touch you…or hurt you." I kissed his hair. "I'll protect you."

„Even from the Clave?" he asked silently.

„Even from the Clave. Even from my own family. I'll protect you…no matter what."

I tightened my embrace so he would stop shaking. After a while I could hear his slight breath. I looked down at him, he was sleep so peaceful in my arms. He felt safe here. Before I drifted off to sleep I gently kissed his forehead and whisper to him that I love him and that I will protect him from anything.

And when the convent came for Magnus, I did as I promised to him the other night. I protected him with my life. Because _to love is to protect._

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

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Intoxic

PS. Still,, you can put in your reviews or PM-s your own suggestions about meanings of love.


	10. To Love is to Figth for

A/N: So this one is with the dedication for Dark Phoenix Rising. I tried my best.

Thank you for your all reviews/follows/favorites.

I love you all.

Enjoy the new one.

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_**To Love is to Fight for**_

Magnus was very aware of what he did. He knew that eventually there'll be consequences of his actions. He knew that finally he would have to pay the price for killing those three warlocks. He knew that the Convent won't slip away this thing. Not this time. Not when he killed one of the most powerful warlock. And he was afraid of what the convent will do to him. He knew that they will come for him.

Magnus still remembered the words of the Magister on the meeting.

"You're going to regret that you're not with us Magnus Bane" said the older, green haired warlock with wings "You and your Shadowhunter"

"Stay away from me and Alexander!" he spited at them and turned around on his heel, leaving the old theater.

He remembered how those three warlocks attacked him. He remembered how they beat him up. He remembered how they threaten to kill his beloved. He remembered how he lash out on them burning them down. He remembered how he stayed the night on the street. He remembered how Alec came and got him. He remembered how he confessed to his lover that he's simply scared. He remembered how his lover promised to protect him from everything.

And Magnus Bane was glad that he had his Shadowhunter, who was there for him, being ready to protect what he loved.

When Alec learned about what Magnus did to those warlocks, he knew that he must protect him. He loves him more than anything. He needs to keep him safe no matter what. Even if he'll die in the process. But he must make sure that Magnus is safe, that no one can hurt him. Alec was aware that he needs to be careful now. Check everything in his surroundings. Never leave Magnus alone. So he was dragging Magnus wherever he was required. On hunts, on trains, on dinners in the Institute. He was going with Magnus on his meetings with clients, friends, on his duties. Even on shopping. He was just simply afraid that someone can come for Magnus when he won't be with him.

And once they were coming back to their home from the institute, they got jumped.

"Magnus Bane!"

Both of them stopped dead in tracks. Alec felt that Magnus tensed and squeezed Alec's hand strongly. Alec turned automatically his protective mode on. He grabbed strongly his arms and pushed him behind himself. Alec dared to look on people in front of him.

There were indeed warlocks. The woman had long, sharply claws, red hair, blue eyes. She wore black dress. The man had green tail and green skin, brown long hair. He wore dark suit with golden straps.

Alec heard that Magnus started to breath heavily and sharply. The Shadowhunter knew that his partner is scared.

The female warlock stepped closer to them and Alec felt that Magnus stiffed behind him.

"Come any closer and you're dead" said dark haired boy, taking out his blades. Next he whispered the name of the Angel "Gabriel".

"So it is a true." She started "Magnus you do have a Shadowhunter as your protector. Scared of your own kind too much"

"Do not speak to him, Downworlder" spited Alec. He glared both warlocks, being ready to attack them if they would want to hurt his warlock. No one has a right to hurt his beloved.

"Do not make me mad Shadowhunter" said for the first time the male warlock. Alec looked at him. His black eyes were in oval shape, Alec never saw such weird eyes. And his lover has the cat eyes. The male warlock was observing the Shadowhunter in a creepy way. "Get away from Magnus Bane. He is coming with us. He needs to pay the consequences for what he did. Come on Magnus. Come with us willingly and we try to do it the most humanitarian way."

"I did nothing wrong. It was a self-defense" said silently Magnus above Alec's head.

"You killed the three of us. You killed Amand. He was about to take the seat of the Magister. It's a sabotage." Said the woman.

Both of warlocks stepped closer again. Alec could hear how fast and loud was Magnus's heart beating. He was scared. And Alexander needed to protect his warlock. He needed to protect what he loved.

He thanked the Angel that he draw on himself runes protecting from magic. But he knew that it won't last for long. So he knew he needs to kill them as fast as he can. Otherwise they'll kill him and his beloved. The one thing he regretted was that he didn't had his bow with him. But with those two seraph blades he could manage to protect Magnus.

When the warlocks started to raising their hands in an attempt to cast some spells, Alec quickly shouted to Magnus.

"Magnus RUN!"

Alec indeed heard some footsteps behind him. He knew that he can't let any of this warlocks come near his beloved.

And then he started to attack them. He was throwing blades on them. In one moment his bow appeared next to him. He knew that it was Magnus who snapped it here. He quickly took it and stretched. Then he let the first arrow in the direction of the female warlock. She was so focused on casting spell so she didn't realized it till it got into her stomach. She took it out, crying out. Her eyes became more darker now, she was pissed. Alec quickly loaded the next arrow and directed it on the male warlock. But he was more aware of it and made it burn down when it was closer to him. Then Alec felt the burning on his arm. He dropped the bow to the ground and when he was about to get it up, he felt as he was floating. Then he started to chocking. He saw that the female warlock was raising him in the air by chanting something in Latin.

"Come out Magnus" she said in her pitchy voice "Come out or we kill him"

"NO!" Alec heard his lover voice. He felt less and less conscious. But he still could sense that Magnus came closer to him. He felt his warm. "Don't hurt him! You can take me, do whatever you want with me. But leave him alone!"

"Magnus…don't…" Alec managed to say silently, almost whispering.

"I will always love you Alec" he whispered to his Shadowhunter. Then he turned to the warlocks. "Let him go…and take me"

The male warlock only nodded and touched an arm of his female companion. The woman indeed let Alec go. And in the same moment Alec reacted. He couldn't let those people take what's his. So he took his blade out and drove it through woman's heart. She dropped down to her knees, mouth opened in shock and pain. She started to choke, as Alec was pushing his blade further in her heart.

"Please…stop…"she managed to say.

Then Alec took out the blade from her heart, and drove it again inside. The woman cried out in agony and finally fell to the ground. The other warlock looked carefully at the young boy, who now pushed behind himself his lover again.

"I'll kill you too, if you try to even come closer to Magnus. I won't hesitate" said Alexander.

"You killed Irmina…" he said looking at the dead body of his companion.

"I'll kill you and anyone who tries to hurt Magnus" his voice was so confident and stern. He felt very protective now. Even more than about his own siblings. He just couldn't let anyone take away his beloved let alone hurt him.

The other warlock took only the dead body of his friend and disappear.

Once they were alone, Alec placed his blades in pockets and looked at his warlock.

"Are you ok Maggie?" asked the Shadowhunter. Magnus only nodded, and throw himself at the younger boy. Alexander hold strongly his lover in his arms.

"Thank you, thank you Alec" said the warlock wiping his tears away. "Thank you that you fought for me"

"Magnus look at me" demanded Alec. The said man did as he was told. Now they were looking each other in eyes. Blue into gold-green. Alec grabbed Magnus's hand and placed it on his own heart "Always. I'm always going to fight for you, because I love you. I won't let anyone take you away from me or hurt you. I kill anyone who dare to raise their hand on you. I always will battle for you."

Alexander didn't lie. He indeed was always going to fight for his lover. Because _to love is to fight for._

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

And do you have any suggestions about the next meaning? If so, please leave it on your review or PM or on my tumblr.

Love you all my sweet peas

Intoxic


	11. To love is to Make feel better

A/N: This one is short, but funny. I hope you'll like it. Enjoy it.

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_**To love is to make feel better**_

I was rushing to our apartment all happy. I got a whole day free. Finally. Izzy and Jace let me go to Magnus and promised to cover me from mom and dad. So that I can have a whole day and night with my boyfriend. I'm so exciting and happy because lately we had barley time for each other. Either there was a demon attack or he had many clients. And now we will have so much time together. When I was in our building my heart skipped a bit. I'm going to see my man in a few seconds. I hurried upstairs and let myself in.

"Honey I'm home!" I shouted cheerfully as I shut the door. I kicked my boots off and went to the lounge room. Magnus didn't come to greet me. Wasn't he home? "Magnus?"

"Oh hi Alec" he said emotionlessly.

He called me Alec. Not darling, or love or Alexander or muffin. None lovely-dovy name? Something was odd. And than I looked at him. My warlock was wearing a black baggy shirt, which I'm pretty sure is mine, and a pair of light ripped jeans. Fuck. I thought. He has one of his bad days. And all my enthusiasm went off. So much for a great day. When Magnus is having a bad day it means that Alec won't be having a good time. Also it means that I as the great loving boyfriend that I am, need to make him feel better.

"Magnus is everything ok?" I asked as I said next to him on the couch.

He had knees up to his chest and was watching the tv which was turned off. I put my hand on his shoulder and waiting for him to turn over to me. After a while he finally looked at me with his sad golden eyes.

"I'm fine Alec"

"You're sad so you clearly aren't fine. What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm really fine" his voice was so sad. I grabbed his hand and interwiended it with my own. He smiled at me lightly.

"Come on Mags. Tell me why you're sad?" I squeezed his hand

"I just woke up with this shitty mood and I thought that I won't probably see you soon"

I looked over at him. He had glassy eyes but none tear fell down.

Sometimes you could have thought that I am dating a girl not a guy. Hell if I wasn't 100% sure what Magnus has between legs I could have thought that too.

Don't understand what he's talking about for the most of the time? Check.

Being moody? Check.

Being all lovey-dovey? Check.

Yep. Sometimes he's just like a girl. But I love him to death. So that's why I need to make him feel better, even if that means a pure torture for me.

"You know Mags" I started and swallowed hard as I thought of that again. "Lately I've been thinking that I really need new clothes. All my sweaters have many holes. "

"That's nothing new Alec. Your sweaters had always have holes" he said after a long pause not even looking at me. Damn it, he didn't get it.

"I know that's why we need to change it. So I've been thinking that we could go shopping. I don't want to ask Isabelle. Besides I think that you have a lot better taste than Izzy." he finally looked at me with a surprising gaze. I would be surprised too if I were him. Not everyday Alexander Gideon Lightwood is proposing shopping to someone. But what wouldn't I do to make him feel better?

I stood up from the couch and pulled him up. I winked at him and he smiled a little at me.

A half hour later I was standing in the middle of the clothes store. Magnus was wandering around picking many diffrent clothes for me. He throw at me bunch of clothes and pushed me inside of one change room in a more privet section. I was trying a navy blue long sleeved shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror, took a huge inhale and stepped out with a grin on my face. My warlock looked at me and grinned.

"Alexander...you look hot and amazing" he said lightly too me.

I saw that he's mood is a little better now. I was trying few more outfits and he was happy that he could dress me up. Than I let him do a makeover to me when we were finally back home. I let him do me a make-up. Noting fancy just some eyelainer. Than he painted my nailes in black and shortened a bit my hair. I had to admit that I looked rather good. He was grinning at me. Even he's beautiful cateyes were laughing and glimmering. I could say that he was feeling better now. A lot. He kissed me briefly.

"Thank you Alexander" he interwineded our hands. "Thank you that you made me feel better. I love you"

"That's why I'm here for honey. I love you too" That was true. I love him so I always will make him feel better. Because to love is to make feel better.

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to

With a lots of love

Intoxic


	12. To love is to Share

A/N: Ok...I had so much fun writing this one, so Dark Phoenix Rising, thanks for the idea, I hope you will like this.

Enjoy reading!

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_**To Love is to Share**_

Alec Lightwood never thought what kind of meaning has the word „share" when you're in relationship. Of course he knew that he needs to share his thoughts, feelings and scares with his lover. But he never thought that the word "share" would refer to other things in their relationship.

1. You **share** your clothes with your boyfriend:

From all things that could happen in his shadowhunter's life, this one was the worst. When he got back to the Institute after a morning demon hunt, he never expected to see his room in such a mess. Once he opened the door his face was shocked. All his clothes were scattered on the floor, and not only that. They were ripped. Every single item of his clothing was damaged. He was pissed. At first he thought that it's his boyfriend who did that. So no wonder he got pissed and called to scream at the certain warlock.

"Hello gorgeous!" he heard through his phone

"Magnus goddamnit Bane! How could you?!"

"Well it's not the greet that I wanted to hear" said the other male, clearly unaware what could happen to his blue-eyed beauty "And how could I what?"

"I know you don't like my clothes…but this…this is just mean!" he snapped at him.

"Alec darling I sincerely have no idea what are you talking about"

"Bloody hell! You know what I'm talking about. And once I'm home…you'll be in trouble!"

Magnus was confused by his boyfriend words so much, that he ended a meeting with his client and went straight to the Institute. He thanked the Angel that he was on the Manhattan already, so soon he was ringing the bell of the Institute. Few seconds later wonder boy opened the door.

"Oh look who's here? Our favorite sparkly boy" he sneered.

"Move away Goldilocks." He shoved Jace and went straight to his boyfriend's room. "What the hell happened here?!" he asked once he opened the door, and saw his boyfriend picking up his shattered clothes "Darling did you got pissed on your clothes? Or finally you admitted that you need a new wardrobe?"

"This is all your fucking fault!" he snapped at the warlock. "Why did you do it? What I did to you?!"

"Sweetheart…" he came closer to the Shadowhunter and grabbed his hands in his own "This is not…I didn't do it. I swear on the Angel!"

"Don't you dare lie to me Magnus Bane! I know you wanted me to change my clothes…but this is just…"

"Alec look what Church had on his claws" said Isabelle waltzing into shadowhunter's room with a piece of something what's supposed to be Alec's old sweater. "Holly Angel…is this Church's job? Oh…"

"My dear Isabelle, mind you leave me and your brother alone?" the female Shadowhunter left the room and the warlock looked meaningfully at his boyfriend. "So…told you it wasn't me"

"I'm sorry" said silently Shadowhunter.

"Kiss and make it better" warlock grinned at the younger boy. When Alec came closer to Magnus, the said warlock smelled an awful scent, and stopped his boy with a hand "Alec darling…don't be mad…but you stink"

"Well I know…I would have taken a shower but I don't have any clothes to change in"

"We can go on shopping…"

"NO! I won't go on shopping with you again" Alec shrugged on the memory about the last time he agreed on going on shopping with his boyfriend. "I think I have some spear clothes at yours. Let's go to your loft. I'll take a shower than"

Once inside Magnus's apartment Alec went straight to take a shower and told Magnus to look for some of his clothes. But the truth was that Alec took his all clothes besides some pajama pants back to the Institute a month ago, before he went to London for two weeks. So yeah…Alec doesn't have any clothes at Magnus's anymore. So there was just one thing he could do. The warlock went straight to the bathroom and moved the shower curtain.

"Alec darling" the Shadowhunter looked annoyed at his boyfriend "There's one tiny problem"

"Tiny problem?" asked younger boy turning off water and stepping out of the shower. He grabbed one of the towels from the hook and wrapped it around his hips "What a tiny problem?"

"You don't have here any clothes…"

"What?! Where are my clothes? I remember I had a sweater and shirt and some pants here."

"You took them before you went to London last month" he smiled lightly at the pale boy and led him out of the bathroom. Once back in warlock's bedroom Alec sat uncomfortably at the bed shivering from the cold. Magnus took a pity of his boyfriend and turned on the heat.

"Can you snap something for me?" asked Alec. Magnus looked at him with a disbelief.

"I'm wounded darling. You want to use my magic for such a simply thing? Forgot so soon who was lecturing me? Let me remind you "No Magnus! You can't use your magic to snap everything you want. You need to pay for things, otherwise it's STEALING" he made a long pause "Sorry darling, but I can't"

"For once you decided to actually listen to me?" the warlock nodded "Why on this? Why now? Ugh…so what now? I can't wear my gear every day! And no!" he said seeing that Magnus wanted to say something "I'm not going on shopping with you!"

"Fine" Magnus went to his closet and opened it. After five minutes on snooping through his clothes he finally managed to find something that could fit his boyfriend. He handed him a not so glittery green shirt and a pair of blue, with a slightly amount of rhinestones, skinny jeans. "This are the most plain things I own baby. And appreciate that I give my clothes to you. I don't do that normally"

"You're sharing your precious clothes with me?" asked Alec, taking clothes from his boyfriend, and putting them on with not so happy face. But at least he has something to wear.

"Alexander darling…I would share everything with you, even my precious clothes, because I love you"

So yes, that's how Alec learned that the word "share" has other meaning once you're in love

2. You **share** your favorite dessert with your lover, even if it's the last one!

They were sitting in the restaurant that Magnus liked. He dragged the Shadowhunter here as on demand on a date outside the loft. So after long and nice convincing Alec agreed and even dress nice for their date. The restaurant wasn't so big and crowded, that's why Alec liked to eat here. They took their usually spot and ordered. Magnus of course ordered his favorite Filet Mignon and I took Salmon en croute. We ordered also a half-sweet red wine. Then came time for a dessert. Magnus took for himself a crème Brule and I took my favorite chocolate cake. Magnus ate his dessert so fast while I was delight mine.

"Oh it's so tasty" I said.

"Oh really?" he asked. I nodded. Then he call for our waitress to order a piece for himself.

"I'm so sorry sir, but this was the last piece. The new cake will be ready in one hour. I sincerely apologize. Maybe there's something else you would like to order?"

"Oh…am…no, no thank you" he said in a sad voice.

This time Alec took a pity of his sad boyfriend and chopped his own piece of cake on two and passed his plate to Magnus with a wide smile on his lips.

"Here you go Magnus" said Alec.

"You're sharing your dessert with me darling?"

"Always. I'm gonna always share my desserts with you honey"

And that's how Alec learned the other meaning of the word "share" in relationships.

So indeed, both of them, Alec and Magnus learned that when you're in a relationship you need to share what's most precious to you with your lover. And they shared everything with each other, because they love one another. And to love is to share.

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to

Love you all

Intoxic


	13. To Love is to be Patient

A/N: Thank you for your support. Love you all

Enjoy reading

* * *

_**To Love is to be Patient**_

Magnus Bane was an old warlock. In his all eight hundred years he thought he had everything. Well…what he didn't has he simply get it. It was always like this. Whatever he wanted he get it. He was never a patient man. He simply didn't like to wait.

But once he met a very handsome, young Shadowhunter his life changed in a second.

Since that day Magnus Bane had to learn how to be patient.

When he fall in love with the young Shadowhunter he needed to wait for everything. But Magnus loves his Shadowhunter, so he waits. He is patient with him

* * *

He waited for the first date. Which was a little bit awkward.

* * *

He waited for their first night together. Though it was a bit forced by situation contained with the Goldilocks and the Seelie Court. And it didn't ended the way Magnus wanted.

* * *

He waited for Alec to get over his stupid crush/infatuation toward Jace Wayland. No matter how he was pissed at Alec for choosing the Goldilocks over him again, and again, and again:

When Magnus heard this god awful ringtone of his lover's phone during their making-out, he was beyond pissed. And not only because he was almost hard, but because he hadn't seen the boy for two days, and he simply missed his presence. But when the phone rang Magnus knew that soon Alec will be gone again. And that pissed him the most.

"What do you want Jace?" asked younger boy

"Where the hell are you?" Magnus heard golden boy and growled into the pillow

"Out" said Alec

"Well then come home now. I want to train" said the other boy

"I'll be home soon Jace. I'm coming back right now" said the dark haired boy. After he hung up he got up from the couch and fixed his shirt and hair. He didn't even look at the warlock but only said "I gotta go"

"Why?" said annoyed the warlock "Because Jace wants you to come home?"

Alec only looked stern at him.

"God damn it Alec! I haven't seen you in two fucking days! Don't I deserve some time with MY BOYFRIEND!"

"You know that I have to go home! They'll ask me where have I been" he tried to say that in neutral tone.

"Then why won't you tell them that you're with me?" pleaded Magnus.

"It's not that simple….Jace…"

"For god's sake! Stop talking about him!" screamed Magnus "Why are you with me then, when you love him?"

"I…" and the Shadowhunter stormed off from warlock's apartment.

The warlock growled in a disbelief and throw himself on the couch, and started to scream. After he calmed himself, he went to his bedroom. Without Alec here, and when he was pissed, Magnus wasn't in mood for anything. In the late night he got one message from his lover which warmed his heart a bit:

_"I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me. Sweet dreams Magnus. XOXO- Alec"_

Magnus Bane knew that he must be patient with his little Shadowhunter. Because deep down he knew that the said boy has some feelings toward the warlock. So he waited to his stupid crush over Jace wore off.

* * *

He waited for Alec to be comfortable with his presence in public. No matter how many times Alec flinched whenever Magnus brushed or grabbed his hand, even with the glamour on.

"Darling no one sees us" said warlock when Alec jerked off his hand during their simply walk through the Central Park in the evening "We're glamoured"

"Still…someone can see" huffed younger boy and took his hand out of Magnus's grip.

Bane narrowed his brows but said nothing. He knew that the boy needs to come to terms with being comfortable to have a boyfriend. But Magnus waited. And finally Alec let him holding his hand in public.

* * *

He waited for Alec to introduce him to his family into a proper way, as his boyfriend. Though it came after Alec saved his life during demons attack in Alicante.

"Mom, dad… this is my boyfriend" said Alec smiling shyly to his parents, when Magnus stood next to him grinning at older Shadowhunters.

* * *

He waited for Alec to come out from his deep closet.

* * *

He waited for Alec to show his true feelings for him. And he was literally shocked and surprised in what way the young boy did that. He was frozen when Alec was kissing him in front of the Clave.

"Do you realize that the whole Clave including your parents are looking at us, darling?"

"Yes" said back the younger boy, blushing in his cute way

"Then why on the Lilith's name you kissed me?!"

"You know why"

* * *

Magnus Bane had to learn quickly how to be patient, how to wait. He finally understood the meaning of those words _"When you're patient you'll get your reward"_

So Magnus Bane was very patient with his Shadowhunter, because he loves him. And indeed the reward came when he heard for the first time from Shadowhunter's mouth those four magical words, that meant everything for him, that moved his heart in an amazingly fast motions, that get him stomach knotted, that made him floating on the cloud nine for entire time.

_"I love you Magnus"_

Whenever he heard those words he knew that he was right to be patient with younger boy. He loves him so he waited for him, he didn't give up. He was patient. Because _to love it to be patient. _

* * *

A/N: I know it's a bit short

Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

Love you all

Intoxic


	14. To Love is to Die for

**_To love is to die for_**

I never thought much how I will eventually die. But dying like this is a great death... whispering for the last time 'I love you' to the love of your life.

But let's get back to the beginning of this day.

6 hours before:

"I'm telling you Alec, we should train together more. It's so exciting. Don't you think so darling?" I said to Alec as we finished training in the institute.

We were both panting and shaking. I decided that I can train today with my darling and the other Shadowhunters since I didn't have anything better to do. At first Alec didn't like that idea, but after a few mental images of both of us hot and sweaty he agreed. So that how I ended up in the institute at the seven in morning. Horrible hour right? But what wouldn't you do to spend more time with your lover? Even if you must do a physical exercisers, not the one that you would like, but what to do.

"Exciting? You mean it turned you on, right?" he said that in his so seductive voice and he winked at me. He was right. Seeing Alec like that, running, jumping, shooting did turn me on. Well the huge pro for my state was that Alec took his shirt off. Now I could see drops of a sweat at his so muscled torso. I must admit that my boyfriend was looking amazing. He has so hot body that sometimes I can't help myself and daydream about him. "Admit that babe"

"Maybe" I said playfully and kissed him briefly. But Alec being Alec deepened this kiss causing a loud moan from me when he shoved his tongue down my throat. I put my hands at his neck. My Shadowhunter run his hands down my back and stopped at my ass. He grabbed it and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him deeper. His tongue were doing amazing moves in my mouth, so I couldn't help but moan. I felt that Alec smirked during the kiss.

"By the Angel" we heard Jace, who came to the train room. We pulled away, and I suspected that Alec will drop me to the floor in seconds. And I was surprised when he didn't. "Could you stop having sex for a brief moment? There are other people here too"

"Jealous much Jace?" I said glaring him. I saw that Alec's cheeks became crimson. But he still didn't let me go

"Please…jealous of what?"

"That Alec is getting more action than you. Every free time" he huffed at us and then Isabelle and Clary went into the train room. And then Alec almost dropped me to the floor. Thank the Angel that I have a balance so I didn't land on my ass.

"What's going on here?" Asked Izzy, as she looked at red face of Alec, amused Jace and me crossing arms on my chest. "You know…whatever. Come on boys we have a job to do"

"What happened?" asked with a concern Alec

"There's a demon attack near the Central Park. Like huge attack." Then I looked closer at Izzy and Clary. Both of them were wearing gears and had weapons with them "You have like three minutes to get into your gears and take your weapon. we must go."

I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers and Alec and Jace were in theirs shadowhunter's gears. Alec smiled at me and Jace only nodded. Both of them rushed to the army room to pick some weapon. Then I snapped some clothes on myself. I decided that leather pants, black shirt, and black leather jacket will be good for a battle. I'm so going with them. I snapped my hair into a perfect spikes. But I didn't get any make-up, there's no need. Alec and Jace were coming back to the train room. I stand next to Izzy and Clary and they had confused faces. I looked at them with _what I can't let my man go alone_ gaze.

"Ok. Let's go" I said as I turned to the door. I heard no footsteps behind me so I turned back to them. "What? Didn't you say that we must go. Then let's get going Shadowhunters"

"You're not going anywhere!" I heard my beauty's voice. He looked stern at me. I rolled my eyes. Great now we're going to argue. But I'm not going to let him go without me "Heard me?"

"Yes I heard" He nodded and hung his bow on his back "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to let you go without me. I'm coming."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Please! Can we stop with this whole married fight and go. We need to be hurry" cried Jace.

"Shut your mouth Golden Boy. I'm talking to your brother" I glared Jace and returned my gaze toward Alec "I'm coming. So please let's stop this arguing and go."

"Magnus!"

"Alexander!"

"Jace, Izzy and Clary" Interrupted the blonde one "Great. We know each other's names. Can we go now? We had a bunch of demons to kill." He tugged Clary and Izzy by their sleeves and dragged them toward door.

Alec looked for the last time at me and rushed behind his brother. I went behind him. When he acknowledged my footsteps he turned over to me and stopped me with his hand. I sighed as he glared me.

"Magnus. Did I said this unclearly? You're not coming."

"Alexander. Did I said that unclearly that I'm not letting you go without me?"

"By the Angel" said Jace. "Magnus you're coming with us."

"Jace! Who's side you're on?" cried oyt Alec glaring his brother

"Admit that Alec. With Magus there we have more chances. He's a warlock after all." I smiled at him. He rolled his eyes. "Let's get going."

"Ugh…"started Alec.

"Darling it's four to one I'm coming." They all looked at me confused "Girls thinks that I should go too, right?" I turned my gaze at them and they nodded. "See."

"Fine! You're coming." Said pissed Alec "But stay close to me. Got it?" I nodded "I mean it Magnus. Stay as closest to me as you can. And for my personal sake…please try not to get yourself killed."

"Sure thing darling. I'll stay close to you. And I'll be watch over myself." He grabbed my arm and took his stele out. He started to draw an alliance rune on my arm and then at himself. Soon I could feel his strength inside me. I created a portal and soon we were in the middle of the fight.

So that's how I ended up in a battle against demons in this lovely day.

And now I was killing some minor demons like Iblises, Raums, Raveners and some Molochs. I was trying to stay close to Alec, but he was so fast. I watched him as he slaughtered demons without any hesitation. I was so proud of him. And then I saw as Abbadon sneaked up to him. I got feared. And he was about to attack Alec. I jumped in front of him, and the demon ripped my chest.

I heard as Alec was shouting my name. He also was crying. I could feel his tears on my face. I didn't even know when I fell to the ground. I started to breath heavily. I could feel that my heart was pounding like crazy. I knew I was dying. Alec took me in his arms and clutched to his chest. I felt how fast his heart was beating.

"Please…Please don't leave me Magnus. Please" He cried. I wanted to wipe those tears away. I raised my hand up and touched his cheek. "Stay with me"

"Please…don't…cry" I whispered, as he pressed harder my wound. I felt that I don't have much time anymore "I love you"

"I love you too" I was slowly closing my eyes "Don't close your eyes! Stay with me!"

"I'm tired and I'm cold" I coughed with a blood. He cleared my mouth and kissed me gently

"Take my strength and heal yourself honey. Please" he squeezed my hand stronger "Please…you can't leave me alone. I need you."

"I can't…the wound…it's poisoned." I intertwined our fingers and brought our hands to my mouth. I kissed them and I felt as some tears flew down from my eyes. "I'm always going to be with you…in your heart. You're not…alone…"

"You can't leave me here…I won't let you go! You hear me Magnus Bane? I won't let you go!" He kissed my forehead and looked deeply in my eyes "Where you're going I'm going. I'll follow you wherever you'll go. I'll follow you…"

"Don't…say that…you can't go…with me…" I felt as my body was getting colder and colder in every minute. I didn't know how long I was laying like that. Alec was still crying and I wanted him to stop. I didn't like watching him in pain.

"Why did you do that Mags? Why?"

"I couldn't…let him…k…kill you…"

"It should be me not you. You're immortal! You shouldn't have to die…not for me…" he squeezed me tighter to himself and started to rocking us. "It should be me"

"Nnno… I love you Alexander…and I would…die for you…" We kissed once again, after we pulled away I looked up into his amazing blue eyes "I think it's time…"

"Please…don't go…don't…leave me. I love you so much…I can't live without you. I don't know how. I love you."

"Please…kiss me for the last time." I whispered to him. He swallowed hard and nodded. And then he kissed me. His soft lips were on mine for the last time. I could taste salty tears, blood and his own taste. I craved for more, but I was strength less I could feel that my heart will stop beating in a matter of second. The brief kiss full of sweetness and passion. When we pulled away I looked for the last time in his loving eyes and whispered to him "I love you"

And then my heart stopped beat.

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

Lots of love

Intoxic


	15. To Love is to Remember

**_To Love is to Remember_**

The life of Alec Lightwood was perfect. He finally was himself truly. He finally stopped thinking that he loves his step-brother. He finally found the love of his life. He finally was the happiest guy in the whole world.

But then came the day that changed everything.

The day when Magnus Bane had died.

Since that day Alec's life became one horrible, unbearable pain.

Oh…how many times he wanted to end with himself. But every time he was about to drive a blade through his heart, or cut his wrists, or drank some poison, he heard in his mind those four particular words that made him stop his attempts. _"I love you Darling"_

So finally Alexander stopped trying to kill himself, because he knew that his warlock wouldn't want him to be dead. Instead he made sure to remember every single thing about his dead lover.

He remembers his favorite coffee…latte…So Alexander learned to love it too. He always drank it from warlock's favorite, rainbow mug.

He remembers that Magnus used to sleep on the right side of the bed. So now Alec's sleeping on the right side, covering in their canary yellow sheets, inhaling what's left from warlock's scent.

He remembers that Magnus loved the sandalwood scent, so Alec uses this scent on himself.

He remembers that Magnus loved glitter, so Alec loves it too. No, he doesn't put it on himself, no. He just likes to watch every glittery thing he can.

He remembers how Magnus wore clothes in most ridiculous colors. So whenever Alec walking near some clothes shop, he can't help himself and looks at the bright color stuff and imagine his warlock in them.

He remembers favorites dishes of his beloved, his favorites places to eat. So Alec often goes to that places and orders whatever he lover liked to eat.

He remembers how his warlock loved to party. So Alec sometimes goes with his siblings to some club and try to have fun, imaging that Magnus is there with him too. He tries to be happy.

He remembers how Magnus wanted to celebrate every little thing with Alec. Like the anniversary of their first kiss, first date, first official date after Alec's coming out. Like Valentine's day, a boyfriend's day though Alec didn't believe that day like that existed. Finally the anniversary of their wedding. But his warlock was happy that he could spend this day just with Alec and do some lovely things together. And now Alec remembers those dates too.

And every year he goes on that days to the New York Cemetery to spend this day with his beloved.

When Magnus died, his warlock friends wanted to take him to his home land, but Alec didn't agree. He told that Magnus's home is here in New York. So finally Catarina agreed to bury Magnus on the cemetery. And Alec goes very often there just to sit down and talk to his warlock about everything.

"Hey Magnus" said Alec once he sat down in front of the tomb. He silently read it every time he is here. _"Here lies Magnus Bane-Lightwood, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, beloved husband, friend"_

He placed red roses with glitter on the tomb and smiled down at the photo of his glittery warlock. He couldn't be sad when he was watching those lovely cat eyes with sparkles looking at him.

"I miss you" says the young boy. Well…he's not so young anymore. He's twenty six now.

"I can't believe it's four years already. For me it's like yesterday you were lying next to me in our bed and kissed me goodnight" he wipes away a single tear that rolled down his cheek "I love you so much"

_"I love you too sweetheart"_ he hears in his mind. He closes his eyes and picturing Magnus standing behind him with his arms around him.

"I would like to be with you now…wherever you are" he says in a small voice "But I know you wouldn't like me to kill myself. I know you want me to be alive and happy."

_" I want you to be happy"_ Alec loved his mind for those creation of Magnus's words. He smiled whenever in his mind appeared his lover's voice.

"Do you miss me too?" he touched lightly the tomb

_"I miss you so much"_

"Happy birthday Magnus" he finally says. "I love you"

The years gone and gone and Alec was now thirty four. He was in a new relationship with a blonde thirty seven year old Shadowhunter. Mark was amazing guy. He was there for Alec when he needed him the most. He comforted him whenever Alec had a nightmare about the night when Magnus died. Mark knew he won't ever be a number one in Alec's heart. But he knew that Alec loved him, maybe not that much as he loved his first husband. And he loved Alec. He was aware that Magnus will always be a part of Alec's life. At first it was disturbing for the blonde Shadowhunter, but once he learned about Alec's past with Magnus, he understood. So often he goes with Alec on the cemetery to visit Magnus Bane.

Alec was going every year on Magnus's birthday, on anniversary of their wedding, on anniversary of their engagement. He always brought Magnus's favorite red roses with glitter. Always told him how's life, what changed, what happened. He told him about his siblings, their friends. He just loves to speak to Magnus even if he can't every time hear an answer in his mind. But he knows that Magnus is still with him, and that he's happy that Alec is happy.

And Alexander is happy. At least he tries. He learned to love again. Not so much as he used to though.

And even if Alec loves again, another man, he never stopped loving his warlock. He still remembers the first true love of his life. He still remember him even if he's dead for many years. Because _to love is to remember. _

* * *

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

I loved this stories. But this one was the last one.

But fear not! I'm starting today writing a new story, long-term story, so probably I'll post the first chapter or prologue on days.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

Love you all

Intoxic.


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